I Built The Bridge, Now How Do I Get Over It?

It used to be a saying in my home - "Build a bridge and get over it". We would bandy it about regularly when somebody perceived an injustice or wrong doing. When the doer of the wrong was guilty.

I was pondering the effect of that saying on guilt when we turn that guilt feeling upon ourselves. As we become the perpetrator.

Guilt is a little (sometimes huge) piece of baggage that we all have. It is something that we usually live with and is not always suffered every day but every now and then it can knock us between the eyes.

So we justify and make logic of it – there was nothing else I could have done; they said it was ok; 'something' had to be done; I did my best even though it wasn't the best for you. Friends may validate those justifications but that doesn’t get down to the core sense of guilt which we stuff down and then carry on with in our lives, getting that knock between the eyes when we least expect it again and again.

So what can we do about our guilt? We forgive ourselves.

Forgiveness is a powerful emotion and it stimulates positive states of well being and positive emotions. The converse is also true. Those who focus on anger and injustice, bitterness and vengeance and blame suffer higher rates of heart disease. An inability or unwillingness to forgive results in persistent rumination and dwelling, while forgiveness allows you to 'move on'. Living with ongoing guilt is simply not healthy.

Everybody makes mistakes or unpopular decisions. There is no such thing as being perfect. Letting go this ideal helps you to move on. But you also need something that takes Courage. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, but an immense sign of strength and courage and that take guts! 

So how do we Forgive ourselves?

Most people forgive at the head level and the heart level but this doesn’t truly allow the ‘moving on’ and to do this, you must forgive at the ‘gut’ level.

The gut is the part that gets you to ‘move on’, the ‘doing’ part of forgiveness. It is there to protect your identity and safety, and sometimes is needing a bit of assistance in listening to the value of forgiveness, for which the heart and the head well know.

Bring guts to your forgiveness and that bridge can be crossed and you can get on with the rest of your life with more spring in your step.

An mBraining coach is well trained in the attainment of forgiveness of self or others. Reach out to one to achieve peaceful outcomes and to move forward.